Reading some blogs
I enjoy reading blogs. Just getting a feel for other peoples lives and how different they can be.
Today I was reading some blogs from families who have adopted special needs children from China. There is so much heartache during the process but then when they are united with their child I ca feel so much love from them. I really admire them. They are very honest on their blogs about about the troubles and hardships they go through when the child is with them and it makes me think.
Would I be able to do that? Adopt a child with special needs? I've always felt I would like to adopt after having giving birth to 1 or 2 but the process frightens me. In one part of my brain I blame the fear on my AvPD and in another part I fear that my reasons for adopting are wrong.
In some ways I have a need to be perfect. This is something I've worked on in therapy but only in day to day tasks. Now I'm wondering if my wanting to adopt is also a need to be "perfect". Being unselfish is greatly admired amongst people, is that what I'm looking for??
But then again, don't most people want to be admired?
argh, so many things to ponder.
